Simply Turbulent
by lupinlover
Summary: All throughout the books, Snape has been displayed as a despicable bastard. With this sort of life story of Snape, I will explain some of the mysteries of the Potions Master (hatred for James, for Harry, why he became a Death Eater, et cetera). It's going
1. Turbulent, simply turbulent, my dear Sev...

Chapter 1- Turbulent, simply turbulent, my dear Sevvy.

Posted on March 5, 2001 

A/N Slow at first maybe, but it's sure to catch up. This fic's purpose is to explain thee abdominal behavior of Severus Snape.

Severus Snape had been born (according to his mother) on a wearisome night. The exact date? November 1st, 1960.

His mother described the night as "Turbulent, simply turbulent, my dear Sevvy. The winds were dolefully wuthering (your father, morbid and pessimistic man he is, suggested that this was a sign that your life was to be doomed with misery). Oh, Sevvy, I had never been more fearful than I was that night. I could see(from my permanent post on the bed) through the window , the trees, with their naked limbs, swishing around rather aggressively. They would slap against each other with a resounding bang. We could hear it inside the house, that's how fulminating it was! I nearly jumped out of my skin every time I heard the rapture of smacking bark. . . I can almost hear it now. . . so frightfully forlorn. I worried that the roof might fly off, and we'd be whisked away to the land of Oz (that's a muggle movie, dear). But it was all worth it—the fear, the pain—because now I have you to amuse me!"

Severus had learnt to be vigilant from the very beginning. His parents had been well-known Aurors, fending off dangerous wizard criminals. 

He thought his parents to be very noble (even though his father constantly verbally abused him. "You fulsomely flippant little boy!" His mother claimed it was done in a "fond manner". Severus thought she said this only to cheer him up. He never believed a word of it.) and his greatest desire was to someday become an Auror also.

His mother spent most of her time devoted to Severus; teaching him multiple spells and curses in an odd looking room which his mother claimed would ward off any nosy ministry officials(though Severus didn't understand then that what they had been doing was indeed illegal).

Severus remembered the day he had received his wand. He recalled thinking the situation was rather fishy. They had gone to a wand shop in Japan (Momma spoke the language) and had a long talk with the wand-maker, offering him more and more money. The man finally consented, taking the sack of coins. Severus had found his wand on the third try (much to Momma's relief). 

Severus had asked her why she wanted to teach him all this stuff, and she had replied saying, "I want you to be prepared, Sevvy, for any dangers or vexations you might come up against. I'm not always going to be here for you, and this will be my certified way of protecting you from beyond the grave,"

His mother. Such a dramatic person, in words and action.

"Momma, don't talk about dying," Severus had pleaded, his eyes filling with tears at the very thought.

His mother had given him a hearty hug, telling him as she always did, "I love you, Sevvy, you know that, don't you?"

Severus would nod his head and reply, "I love you too, Momma".

Severus felt his childhood to be a beautiful experience. Except for one major flaw: his father. 

Good ol' Dad had resented Severus from the day he was born. Severus had come up with a theory he found to be correct. His father hated all the attention his wife gave to his son. He loved her more than he could describe, Severus' mother didn't even have half the intensity for his father that he had for her. 

Severus vividly remembered the day Momma had gone out to Diagon Alley, promising to return as soon as possible, noting his discomfort of being alone with his father.

He'd been laying lazily on the dew covered grass, perfectly contented chewing his piece of grass, when his father had appeared.

Severus had stood up quickly, and upon smelling the alcohol on his Father's breath, tried to run away. 

But, being only nine, his legs were short in comparison to his Father's; and didn't travel as fast as the older man.

His father had roughly grabbed him, throwing him to the ground with a dangerous, edgily aggravated look in his eyes. He'd kicked him quite a few times, causing big black bruises to sprout later on his stomach. His dad was brilliant in how he abused, did it on the flesh that could be easily covered by clothes.

After releasing his anger, Severus' father had knelt down beside him, ignoring his pitiful cries of pain. 

"You won't tell your mother," His father said, the foul stench of booze floating towards Severus.

"And why not?" He responded boldly, receiving another kick for his flippant bravery.

"Because, _Son,_" he snarled unattractively. "Because you don't want to cause your mother any sorrows. And if she found that I had beaten you, she would leave home immediately, dragging you alone with her. And than she would be crying her heart out, because she loves me so. You know it's true, even if you can't see anything appealing about me."

Severus had felt very abandoned in that instance. He could not go to his mother for help, not this time. His father was right in the fact that he would do anything to keep someone or something from harming her. So he decided bitterly, he would have to keep silent about this beating.

Inevitably, the beatings did not cease, in fact they become more and more frequent, up to the point where he had to bite his lips to keep from moaning aloud. 

He began to look for places to hide in Snape Manor, a big Victorian house, with elegant style and dramatic appeal. His father had inherited it when his grandfather had died. And Severus was _supposed _to inherit it, but he wasn't so sure now. 

Severus feared whenever his mother left the house, and became more attached to her than ever before. She was his single ally, the only one who understood and loved him. 

"Sevvy, I'm off to Scotland for a few weeks. . . I've got some very important business. . ."

"Momma, take me with you! Please!" Severus cried out, urgently. He couldn't be left alone with that brutal beast. 

His mother stepped back in surprise. "What compels you to be so enthusiastic about this trip, Sevvy? Is it that you're so looking forward to going to school?"

Going to school? What was she talking about? It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was getting out of this house.

"Yes, that's it, Momma. Please bring me with you!"

Momma had smiled fondly at him, petting him on the head adoringly. "Okay, Sevvy, I'll allow you to accompany me. I'll give you half an hour to pack; be sure to bring along plenty of books to amuse your mind with during my boring work. Hogwarts is a wonderful place, mind you, but no place can keep one occupied for the amount of time you will be spending there. Now then, make haste"

Severus nodded dumbly. He was going with his mother! He would be free of his father's burden for at least three weeks!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

When Momma had told him it was Hogwarts they were going to, he had of course been very curious about the place, and why they were going.

"Well, Sevvy, Hogwarts is a Wizarding School. It's where I went when I was a little girl. It was the most beautiful, elegant place I had ever seen. . ." Momma paused to laugh a second. "Of course, now though very beautiful, it's slightly less elegant now, in comparison to Snape Manor. It's a stone castle, with a gothic feel. . . But its halls are always filled with some merriment. I spent 7 years there, and they were some of the greatest years of my life. . ."

Momma kind of sighed dreamily then. Severus waited a while before he asked her another question- "But, Momma, why are we going there?"

"Oh, dear, I didn't tell you? I'm doing a bit of a favor for the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher has caught pneumonia, the one virus that cannot be controlled by magic. You know what pneumonia is, don't you? Daddy had it for a while, remember when he was sick in bed for a month?"

Severus remembered the time fondly.

"Anyway, Professor Dumbledore asks me if I would take over the Defense against the Dark Arts position temporarily. Of course I accepted, I love kids! And I certainly have enough knowledge of the Dark Arts."

Severus marveled at how his mother always talked to him like he was as old as she; when in fact he was only just ten years old. But he was very intelligent, he knew it even than. When he had and Momma had gone on picnics, he would watch the other kids playing. Most of them weren't very bright, they pushed each other off the swings, and would cry when they got pushed back. It didn't make sense; wouldn't you expect to receive the same treatment? 

Come to think of it, the mothers weren't much brighter. They would storm up to the kid that had pushed their "little darling" and lecture him. Even though it was (their "little darling" who had started the fight.

Momma, on the other hand, was a beautiful person inside and out. She was the most compassionate and understanding person he'd ever met (though that wasn't saying much). She always put her needs behind other's needs, telling them "I strive to give hospitality".And she always had time for Severus, always had an ear to listen with, and words to soothe with. 

They arrived in a town called Hogsmeade, that was bustling with Wizards and Witches in black robes. 

"Carla!" 

Severus turned to see who had called out his mother's name. And saw a pretty blond, walking over with a positive, self-assured gait. He felt his nose wrinkle in distaste, when he saw her robes. They were blue denim, with odd patches attached all over. They were rainbows, flowers, and words (such as Love, Peace, Harmony). The colors were all optimistically bright, and did not contrast well with each other. 

He looked up at Momma, to see what her reaction would be to this woman. She smiled, and waved. 

"Well! Hi Regina! I haven't seen you for a long time. In fact, not since we were at Hogwarts. What a shame! I recall promising to keep in touch."

"There's actually a very good excuse for that Carla, considering I've not been in Europe since I graduated. I've been overseas, in America to be exact. I was teaching at the Salem school."

"I got the impression you were living in America. . ." Momma laughed, motioning to Regina's robes. 

Regina grinned at Momma, and Severus liked her smile. She was a very beautiful woman. Just like Momma.

"Yes, I've got caught up in the whole pacifism idea." 

"It's really not that bad of an idea, you know. We could live a tranquil life if we behaved in their manner. . ."

Severus lost interest in the situation, considering he had no idea what they were talking about. He concentrated on the woman's face, impressing it into his mind. 

After perpetual blabber, Momma introduced him.

"Oh, my! Regina, this is my son Severus. Severus, this is Miss Potter, an old mate of mine from school,"

The woman, Regina Potter, looked down at him with a bright smile. Severus could help but notice that she wasn't married. _Miss _Potter. 

"Hello, Severus!" She said, holding out her hand.

"Hello, Miss Potter," He said politely, accepting her gesture of friendship.

"How old are you?"

"Ten." 

The woman's smile got even brighter, if possible. 

"You'll be going to Hogwarts next year, then! Great! My nephew, James, will be starting also. And I'm a teacher there, I teach potions."

He nodded. "That should be interesting."

"Actually, Severus will be staying with me at Hogwarts while I substitute for the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. . . I hear he's got pneumonia. . ." 

The two woman went on gossiping, and Severus sighed lightly. He knew he was going to be here for a while. 

He backed off from Momma, and sat down on the warm cluster of grass nearby. There was much muddle and bustle going on in Hogsmeade. Severus liked it, it was quite a change from his destitute and dismal home. Maybe Momma would never want to go back—if only things would work out that way. 

He looked back up at Regina Potter. She was such a beautiful woman. He wouldn't mind going to Potions if she was to be his teacher. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

About a half an hour later, as they were walking to Hogwarts, Severus decided to ask some questions.

"Momma?"

"Yes, Sevvy?" 

"Why was Miss Potter wearing such odd robes?"

Momma laughed. "In America, there's a war going on. It's called the Vietnam war."

"Yes, Momma, I know about the war," Severus interrupted exasperated. "But what does _that _have to do with her clothes?"

"Watch your tongue Sevvy . . ."

"Sorry," he mumbled. 

"What has brought upon all this anxiety? Never mind. Anyway, there are groups of people in America who are thoroughly against the war. They call themselves "Hippies". They believe in pacifism. Do you know what pacifism is?"

Severus nodded dully, replying- "Yes, a pacifist is someone who doesn't fight, or take part in any violence."

"Good! Anyway, Miss Potter lived in America for a long time, and fell into a group of Hippies. Hippies wear robes and outfits like that. If you recall, she was bearing messages like Peace and Harmony and Stop the World?"

Severus nodded. "I see. Er--I comprehend."

Momma was always on him to increase his intelligence. Study, Study, Study. Learn more spells, learn more ideas, and add to your vocabulary. He knew by using the word "comprehend" it would make his mother proud. 

"And Momma,"

"Yes?"

"Why haven't you taught me any potions?"

"Well, dear, I wasn't too good in that area. Mind you, I did a fair job, but not as well as others—like Regina."

"Oh."

"Maybe I can ask if she'd like to teach you some simple potions. . .?"

"Oh yes, Momma, please do that!"

"What an eccentric child you are," Momma murmured, amused. "And such a little man you are! Already ten. Pretty soon you'll be leaving for Hogwarts, leaving me all by my lonesome at home. And than you'll grow up and get married, and start a family."

Severus frowned, looking up at Momma. "No. No, I'll never—ever leave you Momma," he said with quite a large amount of intensity for such a young person. 

Momma laughed. She thought it was a joke. But no, he _wouldn't _ever leave her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hogwarts was a majestic looking place, yet far from elegant as Momma had once thought. But it, like Hogsmeade, was lively and had a sort of warmth that Snape Manor lacked greatly. It surprised Snape, to say the least. He was so accustomed to the harsh feelings Snape Manor contained. Once more, that nagging feeling to never go home again hit him. Maybe he could talk to Momma about that. 

They arrived at the castle just in time for dinner, and Momma took his hand and led him into a gigantic room that held five long tables, four of which were placed vertically down the length of the room, and the last one was placed horizontally across the room. 

The horizontal one was obviously for the most important people, the elite. The professors, he guessed.

And he figured he had guessed wisely, for there sat Miss Potter, chatting loudly with the ghost on her right who looked bored with her constant string of words. 

Severus' attention wasn't focused on Miss Potter for long, as he heard Momma speak.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore, how do you do this wonderful night?"

Severus looked at where Momma's face was directed, and saw one of the oddest faces he'd ever seen. It was a thin face, full of sharp features. The most prominent was his long, crooked nose. The hair was a sort of auburn color, though it seemed to be streaked with white. The countenance, however, was a joyous one. He looked positively, completely happy. Severus already liked this man. Professor Dumbledore, was what Momma had called him.

The man spoke with a deep voice, syllables uttered clearly and confidently (he probably wouldn't mind if the whole capacity of the hall turned to look at him), "Very well, my dear Carla. And you?"

"Perfectly content. I hope you don't mind about my son, and I'll presume you received my owl?"

Professor Dumbledore aimed his glance towards Severus, staring at him with an odd expression for just a minute, before turning back to Momma. "Yes, yes I did. He looks just like you, Carla. Where in the world did he get that black hair?"

Momma (who by the way, had light brown hair. So light, in fact, that in the summer it almost looked blond) laughed an embarrassed laugh, shrugging. Then Professor Dumbledore looked once again at Severus.

"Hello, Severus. My name is Professor Dumbledore, very nice to meet you,"

The man held out a hand, and enveloped his own in a strong, sturdy shake. 

"Nice to meet you, Professor."

"What do you think of Hogwarts so far Severus?"

Severus smiled one of his rare smiles.

"I'm delighted by the amount of warmth it offers." 

Professor Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, looking quite impressed. "I'm fond of the warmth too, lad. I fear I may be biased; but I like to think I'm one of the causes of it. Along with my jovial peers who sit aside me,"

"Yes, do give us some credit," a new voice appeared. It was a crisp, almost stern tone of voice that he didn't favor too much. But one he found himself curious about.

Severus turned to look at the woman sitting beside Professor Dumbledore. She was much younger than Professor Dumbledore, but not anywhere near as young as Momma. She had black hair that was up in a plain bun. In fact, Severus noted, all about her was very plain. Her black robes, her straight eyebrows, her average nose. Nothing about her stuck out. Except her voice. That no-nonsense voice was defiantly her prominent feature.

"Severus, this is Professor McGonagall. She teaches my old subject, Transfiguration. A highly interesting subject, if I do say so myself."

"Well, sir, you just did say so." Severus spoke tranquilly. 

Professor Dumbledore laughed benignly. Severus found himself liking the man more and more. He was very charismatic. 

"So, Carla, care to sit down? We have a chair for you and your son right over there by Regina,"

"Thank you Professor."

"No, thank _you,_" Professor Dumbledore replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Snape peered into his bedroom before entering. It was located right across the corridor from Momma's, much to his relief. Even though he was ten, it was comforting to have her nearby, in case of a sudden nightmare. 

The room was very homely and quaint. It was full of the same vibes that the corridors proudly shared. The bed was a four-poster, with fluffy green pillows (maybe they had redecorated it for a boy?), and blue blankets. The colors actually went well together, though it didn't sound too good when he thought about it. 

A dresser was parallel to the bed, with a noisy mirror situated on top. He noticed that his bags were lying beside it, void of the clothes that were in them hours before. He figured a house elf must have unpacked for him. Good. Saved him the trouble of that. 

There was a nice little wooden desk; on top of it were some books, parchment, and ink. The chair was a red one that Severus moved towards right away. 

As he settled himself in it, his body went limp and he was asleep in a matter of seconds. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The beginning of the next day started rather early. In fact, so early that Severus felt rather alone in the midst of everything and everyone. But it was a comforting feeling of isolation, the feeling of being away from all his enemies. Namely, his father. 

Severus found himself in the middle of the very large bed. Momma must have come in and moved him from the chair. Good thing, too, he'd slept in chairs before. And it wasn't the most enjoyable experience, having those back cramps. 

Severus slipped on his robes, and ran his fingers quickly through his hair; appalled by the amount of grease that had gained since his last shower (about a week ago). He didn't want to be putting anyone off of him, maybe he should try to find a bathroom. 

He opened the door, wincing as it creaked quite loudly. He shut it quickly, not wishing to prolong the aggravating noise.

Severus' footsteps were soft, but still caused eerie echoes. He grinned to himself; he _couldn't wait _to start school! There was something about everyone, everything here in this place. . . something he couldn't put his finger on.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The afternoon found Severus in the dungeons watching Regina Potter teach the first years a potion. 

He was trying the potion out as well, Professor Potter had given him all the materials and a cauldron to use, and given him a pad full of notes and basic facts he would need to know to attempt the potion. She had wished him luck, with a wink. Severus could see she didn't believe he would be able to do it. That it would just be a nice way to get the kid out of her hair. Well. 

Well. This made him more than determined to actually make the potion. 

_Restorntion Potion(Restoration)_

The purpose of this potion is to heal cuts quickly. You skin grows back within minutes instead of days. Very helpful to have on hand just in case. Painless

.

_¼ cup of crushed pinecones(no specific type of tree)_

_½ cup of snake skin (Skin that has been shed, preferably)_

_1/3 tablespoon of salt-water (man-made or natural)_

_4 hippogriff hairs_

_2/3 cups of bee poison. _

_Boil 10 cups of water in a cauldron, until the bubbles become frequent (about 5 pops per second), then add the pinecones and the snake skin. Boil these ingredients for ten minutes, at least, then add the rest of the ingredients. Then you should stir continuously, until the potion becomes a murky brown color. _

_Use a strainer, and collect all the particles (the hair, the pinecones) in it. Then carefully store the potion in a glass container of some sort. The potion is good for up to a year after the creation date. If used after that day, the potion will cause the cut to increase the bleeding, and expand the cut length. MAKE SURE YOU LABEL THE BOTTLE. _

_ _

__That shouldn't be too hard, Severus thought to himself. 

He set his cauldron on top of the stone slab Professor Potter referred to as a table (some table). 

Now. What was the spell used to start an inward fire? There were only a few things Momma had taught him about Cauldrons and Potions, and how to boil water in a cauldron was one. There was a spell that could cause the inside of the cauldron to increase in temperature, while the outside remained neutral. 

"Caulburnican," Severus spoke clearly, remembering. 

He poured the ten cups of water into the cauldron, and waited patiently until it came to a thick boil. To save the trouble of more words, Severus followed the instruction to each precise order, and in the end had his potion captured in a large glass bottle. He even made sure use to date it. Perfection. 

Severus walked up to Professor Potter's desk, noticing how many of the students were still on the "add in the bee potion" step. He was one of (if not the very first) ones finished. 

Professor Potter looked up at him in surprise.

"Yes Severus? Need help do you?"

Severus smiled smugly, before replying, "No, I'm finished."

He could see her mocking smile start to alight her face, but she hid it quickly.

"Oh, okay than. May I have a look at it?"

Severus held out the bottle, and watched her expression change from one of amusement to one of astonishment. 

"Why-- Severus Snape, how-- have you done this before?" She said, continuing to examine the potion, as if she couldn't believe her eyes. 

"No, Momma hasn't taught me any potions yet. Did I do it right?"

Regina Potter kept staring at the liquid. "Well--I can check real quick--if it's right, it will float on a piece of parchment, instead of seeping through like regular water would."

She tore off a corner on the test she was grading, and carefully poured a few drops of his potion on it. The drops inevitably floated on top. 

Her gaze went from the parchment to him, a smile erupting. "Well, Mr. Snape, you've got talent I see. How would you like to learn more about the art of potion-making?"

He nodded vigorously. "I'd like to. Like I said, Momma hasn't taught me much about them."

Professor Potter beamed. "Very good! I'll have a talk with your mother about arrangements. This should be fun. Now, if you'll go back to your seat, I have a class to conduct."

Severus obeyed. Today had been very interesting. He liked creating the potion, it required all his attention, but it was really too simple. He wanted to do something more challenging. Maybe that was what Regina wanted to teach him, maybe she would teach him something a bit more complicated.

_ _

Next part should be out on March 23rd, or at the latest the 25th.


	2. A letter and a thought.

Special thanks to Beta Reader Anita Skeeter.  
  
  
Chapter 2- A letter and a thought  
Posted- March 24th 2001  
  
  
  
"Momma?" Severus called out, turning around with quick, rigid moves.  
  
He was in a dimly illuminated hallway that seemed to have invisible barriers   
blocking him from moving five feet away from his original position. Severus thrust his   
arms out in front of him, using them as eyes, and walked; always ending up bumping into   
an wall that had yet to show itself.  
  
"Momma!"  
  
He started to panic, thrashing around in circles, unable to keep his frenzied   
state of mind hidden. Not like there was anyone to observe him make a fool of himself.  
  
"MOMMA!"  
  
But she did not come.  
  
  
Severus opened his eyes, bursting out of the dream that had held him prisoner.   
It wasn't the first time he had that dream, it occurred  
frequently in his restless sleep.  
  
His bedroom was still dark. Severus groped for his wand that was situated on   
the night table besides him.  
  
"Lumos," he muttered, grasping the stick at last.  
  
His breathing slowed down. He didn't much like the dark.  
  
Severus could now see the wizard clock, it read 5:34 A.M. He had a few more   
hours of sleep before it was time to rise to breakfast. He tried to settle back against the   
pillow, knowing that it was a lost cause. He could never sleep after a nightmare like that.  
  
He got out of his bed, feet shivering as they met with the bitter air. Severus used   
his wand to guide him to the dresser, where he put on a robe and some shoes. He decided   
he would venture to the library, maybe read up on potions. Impress Professor Potter with   
his knowledge.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So, Sevvy. I hear you've got a flare for potions?"  
  
Severus looked up at Momma, who was smiling at him. He smiled back,   
nodding. "Yes, I've been told that. It was fun, Momma, making that potion."  
  
"Fun? How so?"  
  
"I can't describe it—I won't even try. It was something new, different—I think   
I may have tired of all the topics you were teaching me about."  
  
Momma frowned. "You should never get tired of anything involved with an   
education, Severus, remember that."  
  
He lowered his eyes, feeling ashamed. How moronic. Of course she would say   
that. Stupid, how could he have been so stupid?  
  
"Yes, Momma, I know. I'm sorry."  
  
"There, now, don't beat yourself up about it. Just remember it. If I have taught   
you anything, it's to get the most out of everything handed to you—like an education."  
  
"Carla, if I may speak to you…"  
  
Severus' head swung around to look at Dumbledore, who had just appeared   
from down the corridor.  
  
His face was grave. Something had happened.  
  
Severus watched Momma's face turn ashen.  
  
"Yes, of course. Sevvy, go down to the Great Hall. Make sure you eat some   
fruits and vegetables. I'll be there shortly."  
  
Dumbledore motioned her to follow him, and Severus watched them disappear   
around the corner.  
  
What had happened?  
  
Severus turned around, walking at his leisure. He realized there was no point in   
wondering about what Dumbledore wanted to talk to Momma about. It could be a million   
things, it could be about the ill Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, it could be about   
his father (wouldn't that be something?), it could be about a dark wizard—there were too   
many options to be pondered.  
  
He was a few corridors away from the entrance to the Great Hall, yet he could   
already hear the roar of voices. Severus wondered what they were talking about? How   
could so many voices be occupied at one time? All of Hogwart's pupils seemed to be able   
to talk continuously, about many different things. Was there ever a lack of conversation   
among them?  
  
Severus himself found it nearly impossible to talk for more than five minutes at   
a time.  
  
He approached the head table, getting a broad smile from Professor Potter who   
motioned to him to sit across from her. He found himself smiling back.  
  
"Mr. Snape, feel up to a tutoring session tonight?" she asked him, taking a sip   
from her goblet.  
  
He nodded mutely. Anytime- as long as he was able to learn about potions.   
"You know, Severus, what you can do already with potions is nothing short of   
brilliant. Did you know you've got enough skill to do a fourth year potion? Your brain—  
it thinks mathematically, scientifically. You think logically, like you see a scattered   
puzzle in your brain and you place it back together again, giving careful thought to where   
each piece belongs. Do you understand what I mean? Is that—does that sound right?"  
  
Severus understood—she thought him to be extraordinarily intelligent. Perhaps.  
  
"Yes, well—it's not as if I see puzzle pieces, it's as if I see all the ingredients,   
and what must be done for them. I can see the potion being created in my head, as I'm   
doing it. Like my brain thinks one step ahead of my hands."  
  
Professor Potter laughed, tossing her hair back. "Oh, Severus, you are such a   
splendid person."  
  
He smiled weakly, wondering in what way he was splendid. A broad word like   
that didn't exactly pinpoint a good quality that he should try to maintain. What use was a   
compliment if you didn't know to what it was directed?  
  
His mouth spoke differently however- "Thank you professor."  
  
"For what? Speaking the truth? I see no reason for you to thank me for a petty   
thing such as that." She said, in a muffled voice that made it impossible to decipher if she   
was teasing him or being serious.  
  
So he just nodded dumbly.  
  
Professor Potter smiled at him again, and looked around the gigantic hall.   
"Well, Severus, where's your mother? Usually she's here first, looking bright and   
chipper. Early bird gets the worm, she used to say. To this I'd reply- 'You get the worm,   
and I'll get the untouched apple.' You're mom was a good friend of mine, Severus, we   
were in the same dorm room and everything. We both were candidates for Head Girl."  
  
Severus was about to ask who had been Head Girl, his mother or Professor   
Potter, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and twisted his head to see whom it had been.  
  
Momma was standing behind him, looking quite ill.  
  
"Momma, are you okay?" He asked in his quiet, almost inaudible voice.  
  
Her response to this was a pat on the head, as she sat beside him.  
  
She looked at her plate, full of food, and pushed it away distastefully. She   
stared at the tablecloth, clearly not thinking about the tablecloth and it's many holes, but   
something else.  
  
"Well, Carla? Are you going to sit there oblivious to your surroundings, or are   
you going to tell me what's upset you so much?"  
  
Momma blinked a few times, and glanced at Severus. It surely meant that he   
was in the way, and that what was bothering her was not for "little ears".  
  
"That's all right, Momma, I'm done with breakfast," Severus said modestly,   
kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"That's a good lad," she spoke softly, watching him retreat.  
  
What he wouldn't give for an Invisibility Cloak—Momma never told him   
anything. It would be deceptive, since she trusted him so much, but would he feel guilty?   
Probably not. In fact, Severus couldn't remember a time when he'd felt guilty. He   
marveled that he even knew what the word meant. Guilt.  
  
Severus found himself exploring the labyrinth that was Hogwarts feeling glad to   
be secluded once again from the superficialities of the pupils and their professors. Feeling   
glad to be alone again, alone in his thoughts, alone to discover. He found that most times   
he enjoyed his company most of all, a thought which he considered conceited.  
  
The thing about conceited thoughts like that was that nobody knew about them.   
They were private, easily shameless thoughts that one shared with oneself, and oneself   
alone. Severus felt that everyone needed to have thoughts like that.  
  
As he mindlessly walked throughout the corridors, he found himself at the door   
leading out to the grounds that were (at this moment of time) devoid of human life.  
  
Severus opened the cumbersome door with a bit of a struggle (he had inevitably   
inherited the bony, feeble arms that his mother also had), and walked out into a totally   
different scene.  
  
He breathed in deeply, coughing a bit at the thickness of Scotland's morning   
air. It had rained the previous night, he could tell by the moistness of the vegetation   
surrounding him. Severus looked all around himself, his gaze landing on the Forbidden   
Forest.  
  
The Forbidden Forest. Was this not the perfect time to find out exactly why it   
was forbidden?  
  
He glanced back, and proceeded forward.  
  
Severus found himself wondering just how much had it rained last night. His   
feet were soaked to the bone, and it wasn't too comforting. To be frank, it was miserable.   
He could feel the blisters popping. What a bright idea.  
  
He had reached the edge of the forest, and began to move inward  
circumspectly.  
  
From Severus' vantage point, the forest looked nice and tranquil. Then again,   
from a horrendous beast's vantage point, he probably looked nice and tranquil.  
  
What compelled him to even think about entering?  
  
He thought for a moment then asked another question- Why must he have a   
reason for doing everything? He was a kid- kids don't have reasons. (than again, neither   
do parents).  
  
Severus crept forward, his socks making a sickening sound against the leather   
boots he was so fond of. His mother had bought them for him in Diagon Alley, they were   
enhanced by a charm—enhanced to make him run (or walk) faster.  
  
But he normally preferred to take his time, especially in the middle of a   
beautiful place such as this.  
  
The wind was out again, causing the tips of the birch trees to sway wildly,   
causing leaves to make a whisper of noise, an oddly pleasant sound, the sound of crispy   
leaves breaking up into tiny fragments and scattering their remains all over the brown   
grass. Winter was on her way. Actually, considering it was December, she should have   
been here already.  
  
Severus heard a new sound—the same crunch that leaves provided, but much,   
much louder. He froze, looking around for a wild beast of some sort.  
  
He turned around towards the direction of Hogwarts, and was astonished to see   
nothing but vegetation. Had he come this far already?  
  
"Fear not, Human friend,"  
  
Severus heard the deep voice from behind him, and looked to see who could   
speak in such a solemn, yet placid way.  
  
It was a horse, a horse with a human head. A Centaur.  
  
Severus felt obliged to do a quick, rigid bow, to show he meant no harm either.  
  
"For what purpose do you dare to travel so deep into the forest, young man?"  
  
"No purpose that's logical. I just wanted to see."  
  
"See? See what?"  
  
Severus lifted his arms and motioned around him. "This. This beauty that   
cannot be seen on the surface,"  
  
The Centaur laughed. "Very wise, young man. Now, pray tell, what is your   
name?"  
  
"Severus Snape. And yours?"  
  
"Transen the Third." The Centaur responded proudly.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Transen the Third."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Severus Snape. So, is the forest that beautiful to you?"  
  
"Yes, of course. Why would I lie?"  
  
"No reason, I suppose. But do you know that true beauty lies beyond the forest,   
beyond the earth's crust, out into the nothingness?"  
  
Severus thought a moment. Centaurs were a very mystical people, they spoke   
an archaic language men didn't understand. Mostly about planet and stars. Astronomy   
and divination.  
  
So he replied tentatively, "Do you mean space?"  
  
"Very much. I mean space. Have you ever been anywhere where nothing   
exists?"  
  
"Something exists everywhere. Everywhere is a something."  
  
"Correct. Did you know in Space there is nothing? It's just as its name states-   
space."  
  
"But there is something—planets and stars."  
  
"The further you go out into space, the less things you will see until you arrive   
at an area full of nothing., full of space."  
  
"How do you know, Transen?" Severus asked.  
  
"I know."  
  
"You know. I'm afraid that answer is not satisfying. How can you just know   
something?"  
  
"It is called faith. My faith in myself that I know these things. I can't explain,   
and no Human, (may he be Wizard or Muggle), can understand. Now, Mr. Severus   
Snape, I suggest you get on back to your home, for there is a rainstorm brewing. Quite a   
dangerous one too, Pluto is telling me."  
  
"Pluto? The planet?"  
  
Transen said no more, just nodded and swiftly disappeared.  
  
Severus felt this was a good time to use his charmed boots. He ran all the way   
back into the open field, back into Hogwarts.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Pluto had been right. The pacific day had erupted into a chaotic, raucous   
rainstorm. Thunderstorm would better fit what was going on outside.  
  
Severus found himself sitting along the windowsill, watching as the trees   
thrashed around. He was fascinated by the power the wind contained, how it was able to   
knock anything out of its way, anytime it wanted. Nothing held the wind down, it had the   
ultimate power.  
  
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a power like that? To be able to push his   
father out of the way whenever he felt like it?  
  
To control his enemies?  
  
As if Momma was listening to his thoughts, she said from behind him- "Sevvy,   
why don't you write your father a note? Tell him what you've been up to? I'm sure he   
misses you, and thinks it odd that you haven't written him yet."  
  
Severus felt his head nod up in down in false agreement.  
  
"That's a good lad. Now, go sit at your desk and write. I'll collect the letter in   
an hour, I'm writing a few letters myself."  
  
With that said, Momma left the room.  
  
Severus grudgingly got up and proceeded towards his desk. He sat down, took   
out a piece of parchment, found a quill, and started to write.  
  
Dear Father:  
  
I am having a fine time here at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
(Severus thought maybe he could make the letter long enough by adding in   
every little detail.)  
  
There are many things for me to do at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and   
Wizardry. One thing I like to do here at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and   
Wizardry is to read books in the Library (that a lady named Madam Pince runs.   
She is a very nice lady).  
  
(This was going to drive his father nuts.)  
  
Another thing that is fun to do at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry is   
to sit in on Momma's Defense Against the Dark Arts classes. She teaches Defense   
Against the Dark Arts very well. She teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts so   
well, that all the kids in her Defense Against the Dark Arts class (here at   
Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry) like  
her very much.  
  
It's raining here, at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Is it raining at Snape Manor?   
It's raining at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
(Not long enough yet, he needed at least one more paragraph. Maybe two, for   
good measure).  
  
I'm not sure how long we'll be staying here at Hogwart's School for Witchcraft   
and Wizardry. I really like it at Hogwart's School for Witchcraft and Wizardry,   
and will be sad to leave Hogwart's School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. However,   
it would be nice to see Snape Manor again.  
  
(Not.)  
  
Well, Father, I don't want to bore you because you are a busy man, and I know   
that you are a busy man because you are an Auror. And Aurors are always busy,   
busy, busy.  
  
So long, and greetings from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,  
Your Son,  
Who is 10 years of age,  
Who is at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,  
Severus Snape.  
  
  
  
Well, that torture was over.  
  
Sometimes Severus had to wonder why Momma had married his Father. Yes,   
she loved him. But why? Was Severus missing something when he looked at the man   
who had created him? Was there something underneath all the skin, all the enmity? Could   
there be a spot of warmth in his body?  
  
He reflected upon the way Momma and his father always greeted each other   
after one had been on a long trip. There were always so joyful to see each other, so   
mushy with each other. They usually kissed, a long kiss that could go on for days if there   
wasn't an interruption of some sort.  
  
Why?  
  
There was no point in pondering the unanswerable, he always told himself, yet   
he always found himself doing just that.  
  
There was some truth to the letter, especially in the statement that all the pupils   
liked Momma. They did, she was a very interesting teacher.  
  
Yesterday he'd sat in on a third year class, as she was teaching about dragon   
blood, and its uses.  
  
Momma had said- "Today, you lucky children, we get to began our venture into   
the dragon unit. And we start out with memorizing the twelve uses for their blood, which   
was discovered by someone you know quite well- Headmaster Dumbledore. Impressive,   
isn't it?"  
  
This was responded with unenthusiastic "yeps".  
  
Momma laughed. "What I want you all to do is try and think up as many of the   
uses as you can remember. And if you want, be creative! Throw in a few outrageous   
ones, to liven up the class a bit. Write these down on a piece of parchment, this will be   
turned in, but not graded."  
  
This is what the pupils loved- permission to act silly and goofy, to act like the   
kids they were.  
  
Severus watched as they struggled to remember at least one real use. You   
dummies, he thought scornfully, writing down the twelve uses. He had learnt this a few   
years ago, Momma had given him quite a few tests and quizzes, and Severus hadn't been   
allowed to play until he'd gotten them all memorized.  
  
"Now class," Momma said after twenty minutes of silent. "What have you all   
come up with? Don? Would you like to share one of yours?"  
  
Severus rolled his eyes. He could almost hear what was coming- Don was the   
class clown, and proud of it.  
  
"Well, I suppose- ahem, cough, cough" he made a big deal of clearing his   
throat until the laughter was loud enough to content him. "Numero uno of the twelve   
uses- hair dye for poodles. Number 2- Gives people an extra fifty IQ points when drunk   
on the night of the first full moon of the year. Number 3- Turns Muggles into purple   
people eaters. Number 4- "  
  
The students continued to laugh, at this stupid behavior that Severus found   
completely repulsive. It wasn't funny it just proved that Don was an idiot. Even Momma   
was laughing, he realized, horrified.  
  
When the list was over (and he'd not even gotten one right), Momma asked,   
"Okay, so does anyone know any real ones?"  
  
Severus raised his hand.  
  
"Yes Mr. Snape?" Momma smiled at him.  
  
He then rattled off the twelve uses, and acted oblivious to the stares of the kids   
around him.  
  
"Very good," Momma said, than continued on about Dragon Blood.  
  
Severus was growing bored. All this stuff was old; he'd learnt it already. He   
needed some new information. He got out of his chair, and headed towards the library.  
  
Madam Pince smiled at him as he walked in. She favored him because he was   
so young and so intelligent. She never objected to him checking out multiple books,   
because she thought he had a purpose in life. She didn't know what, but she seemed to   
think he was going to be somebody. He knew this, because he'd overheard her talking to   
Professor Binns about him. She claimed he was a child prodigy, and that someday she'd   
be proud to say she pushed him in the right direction.  
  
Ha.  
  
He picked out a fifth year Defense Against the Dark Arts book off the shelf and   
settled into reading. He was fascinated by DADA, all those animals! All those spells! All   
those methods on how to protect yourself! Severus had read about the three unforgivable   
curses in a book he'd snuck out of the Snape Manor library, and was most curious about   
them.  
  
Especially the Imperius Curse. The Power. You could make somebody do   
anything, and make it appear that they were doing it out of their own will. He'd love to   
cast the spell on his father, and make him jump off a balcony.  
  
Severus felt his eyes widen, in shame. How could he even think about that? He   
thought constantly about his father dying suddenly, or disappearing, or Momma getting a   
divorce—But he'd never gone as far as to think about killing him. What was wrong with   
him?  
  
He put the book down, and closed his eyes trying to clear away the evil thoughts   
that continued to haunt his brain.  
  
  
A/N note- Next part should be out before April 10th(At the latest, April 15th)   
Thanks to all my reviewers- The Seraphim, Mari, Emma, Darla, Anita Skeeter,   
Daydreamer, Sphinx, Marvin, Spork, Minx, Bandy, Queen Helios, and Debra.  
  
  
PS. If anyone is interested in beta reading for me, leave me your email address in   
the review box, or email me at Lupinlover@hotmail.com   
  
  
  



	3. Assertion with Dumbledore.

Thanks to all reviewers

Thanks to all reviewers!!!

Chapter 3- Assertion with Dumbledore

Posted June 31st

Severus excited the library, with a friendly wave at Madam Pince. She smiled at him. It was nice to know he would have a teacher on his side constantly next year, if ever it came in handy. And it probably would; he was not known amongst his peers for his charisma. Most of the pupils at Hogwarts looked down at him. They were most likely resentful because he always knew all the answers. 

Well, he'd rather be intelligent and alone than stupid and surrounded by other stupid people.

He walked down the corridors, in search of Momma. She'd been moody ever since that mysterious urgent call from Dumbledore yesterday. He wondered lightly if it had to do with that new manipulator that seemed to be in the Daily Prophet incessantly. Lord Vorte-something? 

Whatever his name, he causing quite a ruckus lately, holding little meetings to discuss how Mudbloods were degrading to the wizard name. According to the Daily Prophet, a representitive from the Ministry had said- "If he puts one toe out of line, he's going to Azkaban for sure. At the moment everything he's doing is perfectly legal."

Severus continued down the corridor, then stopped abruptly. 

Further down, two people were arguing in soft voices—almost calm, yet almost outrage. On the borderline somewhere. 

"And while we're on that subject Carla, I'm a little concerned about Severus' attachment to you. It's not, shall we say, natural. . ."

"Headmaster, you obviously still have a lot to learn about tact. And there is nothing, absolutely _nothing_ unnatural about Sevvy. He's just a little shy."

There was a pause, it seemed like Dumbledore was having trouble thinking of something tactful to say.

"I—well, how is your son's relationship with his father?"

"His father?" Momma spat out, in a bitter voice that made Severus cringe and take a few tentative steps backwards. 

"Carla. . . you know what I mean."

"Yes I do, Headmaster, and it's none of your business. None at all. I'm willing to help you with this Voldemort dilemma, but bringing my personal life into this discussion is going out of line. . ."

Severus thought it would be a good idea to retreat now, in case his mother came bursting out. He'd never heard her that angry before, it was frightening. And about him! It wasn't everyday he wandered into such an interesting altercation like that, and he'd never eavesdropped on anything about himself. 

Why had his mother reacted that way to the question about his relationship with his father? Did she know that "good ol' dad" was beating him? Was that why she had become so . . . irate and defensive? What where those exact words again?

_I—well, how is your son's relationship with his father?_

_His father?_

_Carla. . . you know what I mean_. 

If someone had repeated that segment of their conversation to him, he would have found it to be a perfectly normal dialogue. But he'd heard it. He'd heard the way Momma's voice had changed when she'd said- "His father? 

She'd spoken in such a bitter way, as if Dumbledore had poured salt into her wounds. Was there something about his father that Severus didn't know? Was there some buried secret--some hidden skeleton?

And when Dumbledore had replied, in that apologetic tone . . . he knew something too. He knew _IT_, whatever _IT _was. 

_IT _was big. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later, contemplating the overheard discussion again, Severus wondered if he should be upset about Dumbledore thinking he was abnormal. Actually though, it didn't bother him too much. Matter of fact, he probably was.

He was sitting in his room, slouched over a book, and thinking hard. He was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't even know what he was reading. 

Ironically, if that was the right word, just as he was thinking of Dumbledore, the man walked in. 

"Hello Severus. What are you reading?" Dumbledore said, smiling his customary jovial smile.

"Uh—" he quickly checked the binder. "It appears the title is Really Hard Stuff for Bored Minds. Madam Pince got it for me at Flourish and Botts; she seemed to think it was funny and would fit me well."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, I must agree with her. Do you think you could part from your book for a bit, and come up to my office? I need some help with some letters, I was wondering if you would like to help me?"

Severus nodded, shutting his book without leaving a bookmark. 

He'd never been in Dumbledore's office, but Momma had told him it was the most wonderfully tranquil place in the castle. As Severus stepped inside for the first time, he had to agree.

The whole atmosphere of the room was beckoning, welcoming. It was saying- "Sit down, son, and tell me all your problems." The walls were lined with bookshelves, which were filled with books and oddments that meant nothing to Severus himself, but to Dumbledore perhaps they meant the world. There was a gentle fire crackling in the background, and the floor was covered with an elegant burgundy carpet--the kind that made you want to slip off your shoes and socks and take a long nap. 

There was a desk, and this was where Dumbledore lead him. Severus sat down in the plump chair that was situated in front of the cluttered workspace. 

Dumbledore sat across from him, and peered at him queerly.

Severus twitched. The elderly man's pure blue eyes always had a strange effect on him. . . he always felt naked, as if the man were stripping him down, tearing off his bones and skins and revealing his soul; his deepest, most private inner thoughts.

"Er . . . sir, you said you had some work for me to do?"

"Ah! Yes, I'd forgotten my purpose for bringing you up here. I have a whole stack of envelopes that need to be addressed. Let me get them."

The much-adored headmaster disappeared for a few seconds, and Severus sat motionless in the chair. He looked at the shelves behind the desk, and noticed a shiny cabinet. It had a simple handle one that would probably open with a simple twist of the wrist. 

Was it wrong of him to want to look in the cabinet? Momma would certainly not approve. Not like there would be anything of importance in the cabinet anyway. Perhaps just some old papers and documents. 

"Ah, here you go Severus." Dumbledore reappeared, carrying an armful of envelopes, and a quill. "I have another sheet of paper . . . aha, here it is, with all the addresses on it. I'm willing to pay you for your assistance . . ."

"Oh no," Severus said quickly, shaking his head vigorously. Momma wouldn't have wanted him to take money. "I'm glad to do this for you."

Dumbledore smiled keenly at him. "Why, thank you my boy."

They worked in a silence for a few minutes, Dumbledore scribbling on a pad of parchment, and him copying addresses.

"Do you like it here, Severus?" Dumbledore asked him, not even looking up from his writing.

"Er . . . yeah—I mean yes. I really do." Severus said, a bit flustered. Did the man always ask questions so suddenly?

"Do you miss Snape Manor?"

"Oh, sure." Severus said, trying to be circumspect about what came out of his mouth.

"'Oh, Sure'? Not too convincing, Severus. Tell me, to allay my curiosity, where do you like living better?"

Severus froze. Okay. Should he tell the truth, or save himself from (possibly) more beatings. "Well, I . . . there are strong positive points about each place."

"Really. Now, I may sound nosy, but what are they?" Dumbledore said, his quill continuing to swish back and force in smooth movements. 

_Yes. You sound completely nosy. _

"Well, for one, Snape Manor is very beautiful. Actually, so is Hogwarts, but in a different way. Snape Manor is elegant. Hogwarts is cozy. Snape Manor is more manageable, I mean I can get around there a lot easier than here. Hogwarts however, is more exciting. Hidden rooms, wandering rooms, and rooms that have no purpose . . . I really like it. It's like a gigantic riddle here, one that you can never figure out. And I'm always so comfortable here. I feel great walking down the hall in my socks and nightgown . . . I don't ever feel self-conscious or out of place." Severus realized he'd been overdoing it a bit on Hogwarts, and shut up. 

"Go on . . . Unless it's making you uncomfortable . . ." 

"Er . . . That's pretty much all I have to say, sir."

He suddenly remembered the conversation that he'd heard Momma and Dumbledore having earlier. Dumbledore's questioning about his father. He was prying too much. He had no right.

"Well. Tell me about your family?" Dumbledore asked. Severus didn't for one instant believe that the headmaster's casual tone was genuine.

"My mother is great. She's nice to me, and supportive. And . . ." Time to throw in a little fib. "My father is great too. We always do stuff together. He sent me a letter, telling me how much he missed me. We're very close, you know. He teaches me charms like Momma does. Helps me out a bit." He concluded this wonderful, fictional masterpiece, and stared straight at Dumbledore.

The man looked startled for a second, but quickly regained his composure. "Is that so? How nice. I'm happy."

"Yes. I bet you are." Severus tried hard to keep the hostility out of his voice.

Dumbledore should just keep his large nose out of his family's business. _As a matter of fact, the man actually did have a large nose, but that was beside the point._

Severus hurried, finishing his addressing job. He was not sad to say that he was leaving. 

"Well. Very good job, Severus. Are you sure you don't want any money?"

What harm would it do?

"If you insist, I'm willing," he said, holding out his hand to an astonished Dumbledore. Clearly, the man hadn't mastered the skill of hiding his emotions yet, a talent Severus had acquired on the day of his birth.

Severus walked away cheerfully, money whooshing around in his pocket. Things were looking good. It felt great to . . . to . . . be the boss. Be in charge. Have his way, have his say. Some might look at his little conversation with Dumbledore as very insignificant, but for him . . . it meant a lot. He was becoming stronger. More . . . assertive. 

A little more practice, and he might be ready to stand up to his father.


	4. The Devastating Discovery

Wow, out on time! 'Tis a miracle! Anyway, please review! Chapter Four- A Devastating Discovery

Posted July 7th

"Well, Severus that concludes our last potions session for a few months," Regina Potter said, a forlorn smile on her face.

Severus just looked up at her with eyes full of grief. He would certainly miss this wonderful, affable, charismatic woman who'd taught him so much.

"Don't you have anything to say, lout?" Regina teased.

"What do you mean? Like a goodbye of some sort? I hate saying farewells in advance, because I know I'll just say goodbye again tomorrow," he said zealously. 

"You are way too intense, little man," she said, a serious note entering her voice.

"That's just the way I am," he replied frankly. "I've just accepted it. Now if everyone else will, I'll be satisfied."

"But don't you want to joke around, have fun? Be a kid? Get in trouble?"

"What I do **is **fun. I happen to like making potions, learning, and reading. It's the only life I know. The only life I care to know. And how do you know I don't act like a kid alone? How do you know I don't do mischievous things in private? What if I do things I shouldn't? Maybe I'm just sly enough not to caught," Severus said laying his thoughts down for her to examine. 

"You're a very mature and clever kid, but don't get ahead of yourself. And your role in life." Professor Potter said, smiling again--much like the sun creeping out after a storm.

"Nobody would ever let me," he muttered inaudibly.

"Well, kiddo, I'm going to go to bed now and I suggest you do the same. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night,"

"Night," He said, watching her walk away.

*****************************

Severus woke early and stared at the ceiling for close to an hour. 

He didn't ever want to leave.

But he didn't want to come back without Momma. 

He didn't want to go back to Snape Manor. To Father. To bleak, surly, and white walls. To frantic getaways.

With tremendous forcing from his obedient side, he sat up and put a gaunt leg over the side of the bed.

Snape Manor was so compassionless. The only bright thing in the place was Momma.

The other leg touched the ground, and he stumbled across the floor, using his dependable desk to stabilize himself. 

He walked, clambered to the closet where he stood on his tiptoes and used a hanger to get his leather suitcase down. It clattered on the floor loudly, and he felt ashamed for allowing a sound like that to penetrate the peacefulness of Hogwarts. 

As he filled the suitcase with what he'd brought along, he reviewed all the potions he had learnt the last month and a half. 

When he finished packing, he sat down and wrote the recipes out on pieces of parchment. When he completed that, he compared them with the actual recipes that Regina had written down for him. They were almost all perfect. Just a small mess up here and there. An extra ½ cup, an extra hour. He'd work on it when he returned to Snape Manor. 

Severus had a dull throbbing under his left rib. He wondered if it was his heart causing this intense pain. Or was it because an emotional attachment was about to be breached?

"Stop," he whispered aloud, all the while thinking of how this would be the last time he stared this desk. He would never enter this room again as if it were his own. 

He felt a tear prick at his eye, and quickly wiped it away. He attempted to reconcile himself- "you'll be back here in about six months. It's okay."

No. It's not okay.

Severus grabbed his suitcase and marched out of the room grimly. It's just four walls. That's it, four lousy walls with a ceiling and a floor for protection. Just a diversion. It's not the room you'll miss, but the people. Person. 

Professor Regina Potter.

The only one in the world besides Momma who treated him like an equal. Like someone worth telling interesting and important things to. Regina and Momma treated him like an insider. 

He looked down the hall and saw Momma conversing with Professor Potter. He walked slowly towards them, hoping to catch a piece of forbidden conversation, but they saw him first.

Regina smiled warmly, the only way she knew how to, and asked him, "Are you going to give me a hug?"

Severus nodded, and wrapped his arms around her neck. The second greatest teacher he'd ever had.

She gave him a tight hug; the kind relatives were frequently generous with. She also gave him a kiss on his cheek, and a pat on the head. "I'm going to miss you, kid."

He smiled. "Likewise."

"Don't forget to study some more potions before you start Hogwarts." She admonished. 

He gave a terse nod, and the two women gave each other hugs and promised to "really" stay in touch this time.

"Carla, you know if you ever need any support . . ." Regina smiled, and gestured with her hands, completing the sentence with unspoken words.

Momma nodded, and took Severus' hand.

"We should be going now. I told Joe we'd be back in the morning. And I can't wait to see him. I miss him," Momma spoke wistfully.

"Yes, well I should be getting class ready, so I guess—good . . ." Regina looked down at Severus, and smiled. "See you guys later."

Severus smiled back.

Regina wave, and turned away in the direction of the dungeons.

"Come, Sevvy. We have to go to Headmaster Dumbledore's office."

He grimaced. Ever since the day he'd first been in the old man's office, he had not like Dumbledore much. He made it a goal to avoid him as often as possible. That man interfered way too much.

****************************

"Come in, Regina, Severus," Dumbledore said.

He had opened the door for them, and Severus quietly walked in. He didn't want to disturb the office one bit. 

On the way to the office, Momma had told him why they were going there in the first place.

"You see you can't apparate into or out of Hogwarts. And you can't use floo powder into Hogwarts, and only one fireplace lets you use floo powder to leave. Dumbledore's of course."

"Why didn't we just use floo powder to come here?" he had asked.

"Because it's so beautiful . . . the route here by broom is sensational. Didn't you think so?"

To be truthful he really hadn't noticed anything spectacular besides mountains and long stretches of green vegetation.

"Yes," he replied evasively.

Back to Dumbledore's office, the somewhat egocentric man was blabbering on about how "splendid" it was to have them living in Hogwarts. How much he'd "enjoyed" their company.

_Right_, Severus scoffed silently.

"And Severus?"

He looked up.

"I'm looking forward to having you as a pupil here. You will be, no doubt, an extraordinary student. Very attentive, I'm sure. And exigent." Dumbledore chuckled.

Severus nodded, giving a tight, spurious smile.

The Headmaster studied him for a second, than returned to Momma.

A few minutes later Momma took hold of his hand again, and they disappeared into the fire, a trip that was always very exuberant for Severus.

Severus sighed. He'd been standing here, waiting for Momma and his father to end their proliferating, ongoing embrace. It was sickening the way they carried on as if the other had died, had a conversation with God about atheism and had just now returned to Earth unharmed. 

Snape Manor looked as impressive as it ever did. The three house elves (he could never remember their names, they didn't mean much to him) kept busy, bustling and hustling around the house making irritating squeals now and then. 

Father was a slave driver, which didn't facilitate the elves' lives one bit. But then again, the furry little things liked working.

Momma's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Sevvy, dear, come give your father a handshake."

_His father?_

Carla, you know what I mean.

His father shook firmly, so tight that one more ounce of power would snap his fragile bones in half. It was all he could do to keep from wincing. The handshake was obviously a message, and not a pleasant one.

"Welcome back, Severus."

"Thank you, father."

Formalities as usual.

Momma smiled happily, and for one instant Severus felt outraged. Was she really that dense? Or was she pretending to be? This was not the typical, healthy family scene here.

He'd heard that people with immensely stressful problems often ignored them so much, that they became invisible. And pretended everything was terrific, and started to believe that everything was, in fact, terrific. Like they lived in their own, detached and imaginary world.

That sounded appealing to him.

********************************

Five (long, dragged out) months later.

Severus' blood pounded perilously as he stormed down the longest corridor in Snape Manor. He could hear his father somewhere behind him; hear his frantic grasps for breath. Luckily for him, Joseph Snape was not remotely near what was called 'being in shape'.

"Come here you little moron!" the hoarse voice yelled out from yards away.

Severus kept running, thanking Momma mutely for buying him these wonderful leather boots that enhanced his speed. The side of his stomach was aching unbearably, but he kept looking straight ahead knowing if he stopped his father might catch up.

He opened the first door he reached, and closed it after he had safely entered. 

Good luck was on his side that day; the door had a lock, which he quickly put to work. Then he collapsed, right on top of a staircase, one of the stairs slamming into his arm, and another stabbing his stomach. 

He cried out in anguish, and his hands felt for something to hold on to. No need to create more pain. Severus found the railing, and held tightly onto it. He was near the point of complete fatigue, but discovered extra strength. He turned around slowly, cautiously, moving into a sitting position.

At long last he felt rejuvenated and stood up, feeling the bruises sprouting on his arm and stomach, and took a look at the staircase that had given him such a biting welcome. 

It was an odd set of stairs, didn't fit in with the elegancy of Snape Manor at all. Just a plain, rustic staircase that was made out of wood that wasn't painted or sanded or tarnished. And as he climbed up, he saw the door was made similarly—it was very domestic looking.

He opened the door rather timidly, half expecting to find his father waiting, a malicious smile on his face.

But all he found were two trunks that appeared to be made of the same material as the stairs and the door. That would be moldy-log material.

The rest of the room was wallpapered a hideous shade of orange, and the floor was covered with a very thing, dry, and clumpy green carpet. Who ever had decorated this room was either color blind, or very gallivant. There was a window, and Severus looked out of it only to see the roof of the mansion.

He kneeled in front of the trunks, which were centered in the middle, obviously meant to be the main attraction.One had a lock, one of those magic resistant ones and the other didn't.

The locked one was labeled:

**The Treasured Belongings of Augustus Snape**

** **

****

Since there was nothing to be done with that trunk yet, he fixed his inquiring eyes on the other, which was labeled in Momma's eloquent handwriting-

**Joseph and Carla Snape**

** **

****

That sparked his interest.

Tentatively, he opened the trunk.

It was filled to the top with letters, half addressed to Momma in his father's gruff handwriting, the other half addressed to his father in Momma's feminine cursive.

They had all been opened at one point in time, so it wouldn't be too hard to sneak looks at them. 

He opened one-

**September 9th, 1960,**

** **

**Dearest Carla,**

** **

**This whirlwind romance is very exhausting. Every night I lay awake admiring you silently. You know, I never believe in love at first sight until I first saw you barely three weeks ago. In fact, I never really believed in love . . . till I saw you. . .**

** **

****

The letter carried on in this overly poignant and highly romantic manner, a side of his father he never knew existed. 

But something bothered him about the letter, something he couldn't quite put his finger on . . .

{A/N- can you figure out what???? Make some predictions}

He stuffed the letter in his pocket for later examination.

He reached for the next letter, which was bound to be a disgusting as the first, and got comfortable settled. He felt like waiting here a long time. Better safe than sorry as they say.

*******************************

It wasn't until three days later that he realized what was wrong with the letter.

He'd been sitting in his room, sprawled out comfortably on his bed, reading the Daily Prophet. The highlight of the issue was an interview with that Voldemort guy, who he'd concluded, after reading the article, was a very fascinating man with a lot of power and confidence.

**_Daily Prophet:_ Tell us Mr. Voldemort . . .**

**_Voldemort_: Lord.**

**_DP: _Excuse me?**

**_V: _Lord Voldemort.**

**_DP: _Okay. Lord Voldemort. Tell us about your little club.**

**_V: _I like to think of it as an institution of some sort. And this institution gets together to talk about our Pureblood rights. Nothing illegal occurs.**

**_DP:_ Is there a name?**

**_V: _Pardon?**

**_DP:_ A name for this institution?**

**_V: _Ah, I see. Well, no name officially. We have discussed it a bit. Someone suggested Dignity's Everything. That's a possibility. Of course, if that became our name we'd probably use an acronym- D.E.**

**_DP:_ Who is in this institution?**

**_V: _I cannot disclose this information. **

**_DP:_ Why not?**

**_V: _The members and I believe that secrecy adds to the amusement of an institution.**

**_DP:_ You make these meetings sound perfectly harmless.**

**_V: _Well they are. Now pardon me, I have another appointment that I cannot miss.**

** **

**And with that, Voldemort (Lord Voldemort, he prefers) disappeared. Where is he going? What is he doing? And why? With an enigmatic man like him, one can only guess.**

** **

** **

****And that's when Severus saw the picture of his dad towards the side.

Weekly Auror Profile

JOSEPH SNAPE

**This Auror has done many wonderful things to protect all of us, usually with his wife, (fellow Auror) Carla Snape by his side. Joseph and Carla were married February 14th, 1961 in Edinburgh.**

**One of Joseph Snape's many accomplishments include**

** **

** **

** **

****Severus didn't really want to read about his father's accomplishments right now. Instead he focused on the wedding date. Valentine's day. He must have been fertilized immediately after the wedding. 

His eyes widened. The newspaper said they had gotten married in 1961.

Unless this was a misprint, he had been born four months before the wedding.

He got off the bed slowly, and headed towards his closet where he had hidden the stolen letter amid a stack of neatly folded sweatshirts. Severus disentangled it from inside the sleeve of his favorite black sweatshirt, and flattened it out.

It was dated September ninth of 1960. And it clearly stated that he had first seen her three weeks earlier. They had met in August of 1960. He had come into the world two months later. 

His father was not really his father.

Joseph Snape was an imposter.

No wonder the man hated him so much.

*********************

"Sevvy!" Momma called him in an enthusiastic voice. "You've got something here! It came in the mail!"

Severus knew immediately what it was. Hogwart's school of Witchcraft and Wizardry's acceptance letter. He bounded down the stairs in the fervent way Momma would have liked.

****

** **

** **

** **

**Did anyone guess? I'm curious. Anyhow, I'm grounded from the computer, phone, and TV for a whole week. But I've written the next two chapters already. So the next one will be out by July 16th.**

** **

**NEXT CHAPTER-Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy, Warty, Hogwarts! The Sorting Hat, the introducing of some new characters, James, Sirius, and Peter star! (Don't worry, Remus is in the sixth chapter—I think. Maybe seventh). And Lucius Malfoy, everyone's favorite. ****J**


	5. Hogwarts

Chapter 5- Hogwarts

Chapter 5- Hogwarts

Posted- July 21st

"Momma?" Severus asked thoughtfully.

"Hmm?"

"I . . . what house were you in?"

"Why, Sevvy, you know I was in Gryffindor."

"Oh. Right. I was thinking—what if I were in another house?'

"What do you mean?" Momma asked, looking down at his face.

"Well . . . would you be terribly disappointed if I wasn't in Gryffindor?"

"To be honest, Sev," Momma said seriously. "I doubt you'll be in Gryffindor. You're not the type. I imagine you'll be in Ravenclaw. Perhaps Slytherin."

"So, you won't mind?'

"Not as long as you keep your grades up. You could be head of every class! Wouldn't that be wonderful!"

Severus nodded mutely.

"Is that going to be your goal?"

"Yes. And Momma?"

"What, Sevvy?"

"What house was . . . Father in?"

Momma gave him a strange look. 

"He was in Slytherin."

How about my _real_ father? Severus thought bitterly. 

They were standing outside the Hogwarts Express, looking around and exchanging words and pointing out peculiar things.

Severus didn't know what he was feeling. Not one emotion in particular. It felt as though all the feelings he'd ever run into had been mixed up together in a pot, and secretly placed in his stomach where they had just begun to boil.

He wanted to go. He though. But he didn't want to leave Momma. Nor stay near Joe. (Severus had abandoned thinking of the imposter as Father anymore. He was now known as Joe.) He wanted to see Regina, but Dumbledore wasn't exactly his favorite man.

And the idea of sitting unoccupied in all the first year classes seemed a bit unattractive. He wondered vaguely about what Momma would say if he asked not to go to Hogwarts.

"Do you have something to do on the train, Sevvy?" Momma asked him.

Severus held up the book in his hand. One of his strongest characteristics was his taciturnity. He felt if you could answer a question with actions why use words? What was the use of wasting precious breath when a gesture could do?

"Give me a hug and a kiss goodbye, the train is about to leave."

Severus obeyed and then headed towards the Hogwarts Express, feeling his heart pound nervously, feeling tears on the verge of popping. He wanted to turn around and run to Momma. 

Where was he going to sit?

_Stupid,_ he thought scornfully. _Why are you so scared? It's just a bunch of kids, whom you are probably smarter then. Just sit down somewhere. Read your book. Ignore them._

So he did just that.

********

"Meh name's Hagrid. I'm the gamekeeper here at Hogwarts."

The large, domestic looking man said. Severus thought he looked perfectly harmless standing before him now, but if Severus had seen Hagrid walking down the street, he'd have wanted to cross the street.

Hagrid, as he'd learnt from his stay at Hogwarts and from Momma earlier, had been expelled from his third year at Hogwarts because he had supposedly released a monster that petrified and killed Mudbloods. But looking at Hagrid now, he was almost certain that he didn't do the crime he was convicted for. Hagrid looked too much like a rule-abider, or at least too amiable to have done something prohibited.

"We'll be travelin' ter Hogwarts by these boats," Hagrid motioned to the clutter of row boast situated by the opaque lake.

All in all Hagrid looked nice, just a little stupid and ignorant. How much could he possibly know with only a third year education?

"Four ter a boat!"

The evening was very mild, a bit chilly mainly because of the cool breezes coming through. The lake was very still, and very blue. Severus had never seen such a color, such an intense, vivid shade. It gave off the same impression as Dumbledore's eyes, but was a bit darker.

He got into the nearest rowboat, and was immediately joined by three boys- a short chubby boy with an oddly cherubic face covered with brown hair, a tall black haired boy who was beaming from ear to ear (he was one Mothers would think of as cute) and another black-haired boy with average features and blue eyes that seemed to be filled with gratitude. 

"Hullo!" said the beaming boy. "My name's Sirius Black. This is James Potter, and this is . . . er . . . I forgot your name again! Sheesh . . . what is it?"

The plump boy blushed and mumbled two (barely coherent) words- "Peter Pettigrew."

"Ah. Yes. Peter. What's yours?" Sirius' black eyes focused on him again. 

"Severus Snape," he said simply.

He was a bit overwhelmed by the joviality of Sirius, and taken aback by the name of the second black-haired boy- James Potter. This must be Regina's nephew.

"Nice to meet you." Sirius replied, and James nodded in agreement. Peter was still blushing and staring down at his hands.

"What house do you think you'll be in?" Sirius asked, after the boats started moving forward slowly.

"My mother thinks I'll be in Ravenclaw."

"Mine says I'm bound to be a Gryffindor. But we think James is heading for Ravenclaw also, since he's so intelligent and all. And, well, Peter looks to be a Hufflepuff. But who really knows? I just know one thing- I absolutely do not want to be a Slytherin." Sirius concluded his speech with a grimace.

"What's wrong with Slytherin?" Severus asked in an incognito way.

"Well, no offense to anyone here if they wind up in Slytherin, but I've heard they're all really nasty people. And that all darks wizards had come from Slytherin." Sirius said, wide eyed.

"Well, pardon my asking, but what I you, perhaps, get in Slytherin?"

"I wouldn't. I'd refuse to. Tell them absolutely not. No way. Look, we're almost there!" Sirius pointed.

This boy was much too hyper for Severus' taste. And Peter was much too shy. And James . . . of James he had no opinion. James was being quiet as well, staring in awe up at the castle. 

He looked a bit like Regina, with the same rounded, acute nose and similar blue eyes. And they way he studied everything reminded Severus of Regina also.

"I know your aunt," he told James, noting how the boy's eyes seemed to brighten.

"Aunt Regina?" She's pretty neat, isn't she?" James smiled.

"Yes. I think so." Severus replied.

********

Now they were lined up and like caged animals, everyone in the great hall was staring at them attentively.

Sometimes Severus could catch a sentence that was being said—

"Look at that one scowl! She's a Slyth for sure!"

"See that perky, black haired boy? Definitely a Gryffindor."

"Ooh, there's a pretty girl. The red head. She'll be gorgeous in a few years!"

But everyone hushed as soon as Professor McGonagall came out carrying a faded blue hat. 

After setting it down on a stool, she stated, almost annoyingly, "When I call your name, try on the hat. After it determines what house you belong to, go to the appropriate table."

"Anderson, Lyle!"

The first to be called was a rather short (and very shaky) brown-haired boy. He apprehensively picked up the hat and set it on his head, his fingers crossed.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the hat screamed momentarily, and the Hufflepuff table cheered uproariously. 

Guster Babbitt followed and was also placed in Hufflepuff. Marry Berglund was next and she wound up in Ravenclaw.

Then it was Sirius Black, and (as he predicted) was a certified Gryffindor. Todd Carlson became a Ravenclaw.

Brenda Collins was the first Slytherin and another Hufflepuff was added with Peter Collis.

Andrew Dahl- Ravenclaw and Antonin Dolohov- a Slytherin.

A very pretty red headed girl with iridescent green eyes was called up- "Evans, Lily" and placed in Gryffindor. Mandy Finnesman followed Lily, and was placed in Hufflepuff.

Gretchen Finnigan- Slytherin.

Andrea Hopkins- Hufflepuff.

Rayna Karkaroff and Edward Longbottom became Slytherins and a distinguished, mature looking boy (Remus Lupin) became the third new Gryffindor. 

"Malfoy, Lucius" –Slytherin. 

"Maternowsky, Brad"- Ravenclaw.

"Miller, Tina"—Hufflepuff.

"Montegue, Zandor" –Slytherin.

Lucy Nealon became the fourth Gryffindor and Frank O'Donnell was the fifth Ravenclaw. Another Hufflepuff was added with Brian Patrick and the Pudgy Peter Pettigrew (after a long wait) was the fifth edition to Gryffindor. Fredrick Pike was yet another Hufflepuff. Anne Phillips—a Ravenclaw.

"Potter, James," was called and Severus looked over at Regina. He's forgotten about her with all the excitement and a smile took over his face as he laid eyes on the Potions Master. She was also smiling, but at James. James became a Gryffindor.

Severus watched as Sirius patted the chair next to his, and could tell already that the two would be inseparable.

Adrienne Smith was a Slytherin and then he heard his own name.

"Snape, Severus!"

He tried to appear completely confident and nonchalant as he walked to the hat. He stared straight ahead, right at, as it happened, Regina Potter who gave him a smile and the peace sign. Severus smiled back and put on the hat.

The hat immediately began to talk to his thoughts.

"Hmm. Right away, my friend, I'm eliminating Hufflepuff. You have a lot of potential to be deceptive."

_Thank god,_ he though, relieved. 

"Why not Hufflepuff?" the hat inquired.

_Hufflepuff is full of clumsy, overly friendly people. And they all look pretty stupid._

"Friendliness doesn't rub well on you? There goes Gryffindor. But, I knew right away you weren't a Gryffindor. Not the type."

_You're not the first to say that. Now please hurry up! Am I in Ravenclaw or Slytherin?_

"Do you care which one?"

_No. Not really. I just want to take this dusty and not to mention dirty hat off my head. Dumbledore had this one his head once, and so did McGonagall . . . It makes me shudder to think about it._

"I've made a smart decision- SLYTHERIN!. . . have fun . . ."

He made his were towards to the cheering table and sat down next to a blond haired boy.

"Hello. Lucius Malfoy here. What took so long?"

"What? Oh, you mean that moronic hat?"

Lucius nodded.

"It couldn't make up its mind whether to put me in Ravenclaw or Slytherin."

"Glad you're here?"

Severus shrugged. "Long as I'm not a Hufflepuff."

Ilona Somero became a Ravenclaw.

Abigail Sumner- Gryffindor.

Robert Swenson –Ravenclaw.

Susan Thompson was the eighth Gryffindor and Justin Travers was the final Slytherin. 

As he ate his first feast of his Hogwarts career, Severus noticed how Lucius, Justin Travers, Antonin Dolohov, and Zandor Montague all talked to each other as if they'd known each other for years.

"Do you four know each other from outside of Hogwarts?" Severus put voice to his thoughts.

Lucius spoke up—"Our fathers are friends, so we see each other often."

Severus nodded and went back to eating. Then looked up at the sixth first year, Edward Longbottom.

Edward was a cynical, yet easy-going looking boy. He was eyeing everyone around him distrustfully and he didn't seemed thrilled to be a member of the Slytherin family. Edward hadn't spoken one word yet, just had sneered in a Slytherin way.

Lucius was a blond haired, blue-eyed beauty. He would certainly have his way with the ladies. Severus could tell, watching Lucius' clique, that he was the manipulative leader, and a very boisterous one. He had a hushed tone of voice that he spoke with—not a whisper but not the average volume.

Zandor Montague was a black-haired fellow, with pale white cheeks (reminded him of the moon on gray nights) and green eyes that grasped his emotions clearly. His ears stuck out, and he was loud. Severus wouldn't trust him to keep a secret; the kid didn't seem able to keep his mouth shut (which he should, because when he opened it idiotic sentences came out).

Justin Travers had a plain face, reddish-brown hair and hazel eyes. He was, however, one of the tallest kids at Hogwarts (his prominent feature). Severus guessed Justin was 5'5" in comparison to his 5'1" (and Severus was considered tall for his age as well). Justin was always boasting about his mansion, about his dog, about his broomstick, about everything imaginable.

And Antonin Dolohov—a quiet, peculiarly handsome and photogenic boy with brown hair, oval-shaped brown eyes. HE was equipped with long lashes that flattered his face well. At this point, Severus couldn't find one Slytherin quality in Antonin, but he hadn't really done much but smile and murmur unintelligible words.

Interesting group here, Severus thought.

Next Chapter- Homesickness, it stinks, don't it? Sev meets Lily and has Potions. The Slytherin girls are introduced, and Lupin probably shows up. J A thanks goes out to reviewers.


End file.
